Godzilla vs. Monster Zero: Let's try this whole "Ghidorah" Thing Again...

 Though Ghidorah the Three Headed Monster was a commercial success, it is no surprise that director Ishiro Honda wanted another crack at the idea. The film appeared just months after Mothra vs. Godzilla was in the can and feels like it was actually shot from the cobbled together ideas of a brainstorming session. While Godzilla vs. Monster Zero (aka Invasion of Astro Monster aka Monster Zero aka Invasion of the Astro Monsters aka Great Monster War aka Kaiju Daisenso) does recycle some elements from Ghidorah (Godzilla and Rodan face off against the golden dragon Ghidorah once more to stop him from destroying earth, beings from another planet are involved in the story, and Godzilla manages to find himself fighting both for mankind and against it; Mothra was cut for budgetary reasons), it actually manages to mingle all the elements into a singular coherent plot and also breaks some new ground in a Godzilla film. This is the first Godzilla film that finds itself quite firmly in the science-fiction camp (or at least, uses the more traditional science-fiction elements), it’s the first to actually feature the physical presence of beings from another world, it’s the first to feature an American actor in one of the lead roles, and it’s also (lamentably) the first to make any really recognizable use of stock footage. It may not be as well loved as its 1964 spiritual predecessor, but it does make for a much less confusing and slightly more enjoyable viewing experience.

It’s never made entirely clear, but we get the idea that the movie is set somewhere in the future (we get this idea because the UN is evidently a coherent governing body that does deep-space exploration missions). Astronauts Fuji (Akira Takarada of Half-Human, King Kong Escapes and [as I just learned today] the voice of Jafar from the Japanese release of Disney’s Aladdin) and Glenn (Nick Adams of Rebel without a Cause and Die, Monster, Die!) are on a mission to a newly discovered that sits on the dark side of Jupiter. Evidently, this smallish celestial object has been there as long as we have been here, but it is so dark that it has remained unseen by traditional telescopes. Planet X, as it is being called, is a powerful source of radio waves, however and it is those very signals that led both to its discovery and the forthcoming investigation.

Fuji and Glenn land on Planet X and do some exploring while they plant the flags of the UN, the United States, and Japan. The planet is desolate and seemingly uninhabitable. That is, of course, until Glenn disappears along with the spaceship, leaving Fuji alone on the planet’s surface. Fuji is confused and alarmed, and the giant glowing elevator-like tube that rises from the planet’s surface does little to calm him. A voice orders him to enter, and Fuji ultimately finds himself in a control room, reunited with Glenn.

This is all surprising enough, but it becomes even more shocking when the citizens of Planet X turn out to be Japanese in appearance, despite the fact that they dress like Devo would dress if Devo were to get whiplash and still need to perform, and wore glasses similar to those that Star Trek’s LaVar Burton would don nearly thirty years later. The controller of Planet X (Seven Samurai’s Yoshio Tsuchiya who also appeared in 1991’s Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah) explains that they mean the humans no harm, and their spaceship is safe. Safe from what you may wonder? Well, you don’t need to wonder for long as King Ghidorah attacks during the controller’s speech. The controller explains that the Xilians call the creature Monster Zero, and that he has forced them to develop their entire civilization underground due to his constant attacks.

This is all leading to a plea from Planet X for help. They demand…er, REQUEST that humans allow them to use the Monsters Zero One and Zero Two (Godzilla and Rodan) to drive Ghidorah from their planet and in return they will give to humanity a miracle cure for all diseases. The astronauts seem keen on this idea, more or less. Godzilla and Rodan, remember, are still considered dangerous at this time (Godzilla hadn’t yet transformed to full-on hero mode yet), so if Earth can rid themselves of the kaiju AND obtain a miracle drug, it seems like win-win.

Back on Earth (in what seems like a complete non-sequitur until this movie actually connects the dots, unlike its predecessor), Fuji’s little sister Haruno (Frankenstein Conquers the World and Dogora actress, Keiko Sawai) is on a date with Tetsuo (Akira Kubo of Space Amoeba and Gamera: Guardian of the Universe). Tetsuo is an inventor, it seems and he has taken Haruno out to dinner to celebrate. It seems that International Educational Products wants to buy one of his inventions. Why anybody would want to buy the invention (a personal alarm that Tetsuo thinks women could make use of to summon assistance if they are being attacked) is beyond Tetsuo (he has been berated so badly by Fuji, who strongly dislikes the nerdy, wimpy inventor whose inventions seem to never serve a purpose) but he is happy anyway.

When Glenn and Fuji arrive back on Earth, there’s some UN debate about whether or not to help the Xilians, but it is ultimately agreed that everyone will be happy to be rid of Godzilla and Rodan. What happens next ruffles a few feathers and furthers a sneaking suspicion that both Glenn and Fuji had when three Xilian flying saucers appear from out of a lake, showing that the Xilians had pretty much counted on Earth agreeing (or they were planning on taking the monsters anyway). It’s a minor incident, and the Xilians glaze over it, but Glenn and Fuji have their eyes wide-open, even if nobody else does.

Glenn goes off with his girlfriend, Namikawa (Toho babe extraordinaire Kumi Mizuno of Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster and War of the Gargantuas) for a bit and she begs him not to go. She’s also the representative who is purchasing Tetsuo’s invention and her dual nature of caring so whole-heartedly for Glenn and being a cold biznatch to Tetsuo doesn’t really seem to mesh with us. Glenn, however, knows his responsibilities and he and Fuji set out with the Xilians on a return trip to Planet X.

No doubt, you may be thinking the same thing as Fuji and Glenn at this point. Exactly how to the Xilians plan on transporting Godzilla and Rodan to Planet X? Don’t worry, the Xilians have that covered. They locate both of the beasts and as they slumber, the Xilians encapsulate them in some sort of force field for the trip through space.

On Planet X, the controller explains that they do not have to worry about Godzilla and Rodan running berserk because they can be controlled with radio waves (and thus raises the question of why he couldn’t just do the same to King Ghidorah…). While Glenn “accidentally” discovers that every single woman on Planet X is an exact replica of Namikawa (evidently, the Xilians only like beautiful women and are not interested in variety). This almost certainly means that Namikawa is Xilian herself. It also may help to explain why Tetsuo hasn’t yet seen dime-one or mass production of his Lady Alarm invention, and (if the Xilians want to keep said invention under wraps) that this little device may be more important than everyone (including Tetsuo) thinks.

King Ghidorah does appear at last to fight Godzilla and Rodan, but the two titans of Earth thoroughly clobber his golden space-butt and send him away in fear. The Xilians rejoice in the victory over the space demon and as promised, deliver the formula for the miracle drug to Glenn and Fuji. Back on Earth, they play the recording for the formula in front of the UN council.

In reality, the recording is not a formula, but an ultimatum. Earth will surrender itself as a colony of Planet X immediately or the monsters Godzilla, Rodan and King Ghidorah (all under Xilian control – see? The Xilians COULD control Ghidorah with radio waves!) will lay their cities to waste. There’s a bit of a sub-plot about water that I’ve neglected all along in my review, but presumably, water is the major the reason Planet X finds itself so interested in Earth. Glenn and Fuji now have 24 hours (the time frame laid out by the Xilians to accept colonization or be destroyed) to develop some measure of counterattack. The only thing they have to work on is the knowledge that Godzilla and Rodan are being controlled by radio waves (though the frequency and wavelength are completely unknown), and a letter from Namikawa given to Glenn before she is destroyed by her fellow Xilians for showing love toward a human, the contents of which intimate that a “certain sound” can bring the Xilian race to its knees…

If the Godzilla series is chock full of any one thing other than rubber suits, it’s lost potential. Godzilla Raids Again was a good idea gone wrong due to the tight production schedule, King Kong vs. Godzilla wasted the opportunity to display either monster as being truly HEROIC by unnecessarily adding to Kong’s armada of weaponry (a mistake which Mothra vs. Godzilla would not repeat), and Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster threw a lot of money at a half-baked idea due to yet another rushed production schedule. In that light, it seems a bit of a shame that Ghidorah was ever made. Had it been given some time to incubate and grow naturally into the story presented in Godzilla vs. Monster Zero we could have had something really special. The fault with this film is a very good idea on a limited budget, which means we don’t get as much city-stomping and monster action as we would have in a film with a budget the size of Ghidorah’s. There's also stock footage being used (mostly just of tanks themselves firing missiles) for the first time of any significance. It's not enough to really detract from the movie (like in Godzilla's Revenge or Godzilla vs. Megalon), but it is noticeable and it represents the beginning of a downward spiral for the effects sequences in Godzilla films.

The stars of the film, the monsters, are in fairly decent shape all things considered. Godzilla and Rodan have eyes and mouths that movie quite fluidly and Ghidorah’s neck movements are just as organic and fluid as they were in the previous film. The materials of the suits themselves, however, begin to show some wear and tear, specifically in the King Ghidorah suit, which looks to have taken a bit of a beating. The monsters are full of personality, though with Godzilla even performing a victory dance after his initial defeat of Ghidorah. I’m also happy to report that Godzilla’s breath is back to blue and though it’s not the best effect ever, it’s much better to look at than in the previous film.

The acting is serviceable, with what the characters are given, and in my opinion this is one of the movies of the series that gives us a good reason to even feature human characters at all. Their story is carefully woven into the story of the monsters and their actions actually affect the monster battles (and vice versa). It's a massive improvement over the disproportionately separated story arcs of Ghidorah.

One thing I really like about this film (besides it actually being coherent and everything in the film serving a purpose) is that it fully embraces its light-hearted feel, without delving into the black-hole of self-parody or the land of “eureka!” moments. We can actually swallow the abhorrent goofiness of such a thing as the Lady Alarm being able to harm the Xilians because nobody in the film seems too thrilled or hopeful about the idea in the first place. The characters also acknowledge that they are simply guessing and taking a ‘fingers crossed’ stance to intercepting the Xilians radio signals. Rather than being fully confident that such a ridiculous plan will work, the characters are resigned to the fact that this is their only hope. At the same time, characters don’t get so silly as to break the fourth wall and say stuff like, “oh boy, oh gee golly I hope this works!” while damn-near smiling and showing us they KNOW it will work.

 There is some knowledge to be gained from such a silly movie though. For starters, let's talk about how we've learned that in at least one way, it'd be awesome to be an Xilian; no matter how butt-ugly of an Xilian male you were, you'd get the hottest chick on the planet. It sucks that she's essentially the ONLY chick on the planet, but still, how many guys can honestly say they have the hottest girl in the world? Also, we've learned that with the flip of a switch, you can make radio waves visible. I think the only reason we don't do this is because we wouldn't be able to see anything at all with all the signals bouncing around. Also, I think it's important to point out that we've learned that while the first Godzilla (from Gojira) was a terrible monster hell-bent on destruction, the second Godzilla (from Godzilla Raids Again onward) just likes to fight. I mean, sure, he slips up and roasts the occasional cruise liner or tries to scramble a giant egg for some breakfast, but he's generally just a scrappy fighter, and much more high-spirited than his predecessor.

It’s not a perfect film, and it in many ways is another body in the ever-filling graveyard of Godzilla films with unrealized potential (and there will be MANY more to come), but it’s quite a fun film if you can embrace the sci-fi alien invasion plot as being a centerpiece of the story. It may be considered the start of the slide for Godzilla (this is the first film in which Godzilla does not attack humanity of his own volition) and it may be uneven at times, but overall, it’s a fun enjoyable flick that brought some fresh ideas to the table in the framework of a story that could have been a near remake of its predecessor.

It's a bit of a polarizing film though. Some find it too boring, others think it's among the best (if not the best) of the early-series of Godzilla films. I find myself gravitating more and more toward the latter camp. My suggestion would be to track down a movie like The Mysterians or Battle in Outer Space first. If you find those enjoyable, then you'll probably love the hell out of Monster Zero; if you find them insufferable, then you'll probably just want to watch Monster Zero once.

Final Rating below. Read more about what it means and find a full index of all my reviews RIGHT HERE.